Revision Plans

Blog Post –

I received very good criticism and suggestions from the reviewers in the workshopping activity on Tuesday. This allowed me to see styles of writing that differed from my own, and also gave me different ideas that I probably would have never thought about. One main suggestion was that I should consider reworking my conclusion to relate back to my overarching claim. I was unaware that my conclusion didn’t really connect back to my overarching claim until I looked at the reviewer’s considerations. This is one of the main things that I am going to focus on for my revision. Another concern was that a couple of my sentences did not really make sense to them as they read my paper. Rereading those sentences, I’d have to agree with them. That being so, I will rewrite these sentences to make sure they make better sense to the reader. One suggestion was to play around with the organization of the paper to make the paper flow better and transition from one topic to the next. One comment, for example, was that my rough draft is very clear and that I have good flow, but maybe I should consider minor reorganization. The organization of the paper can be tweaked and made even better with a little bit more work. The reviewers really liked the descriptive elements that I use to describe my artifacts. Though, they felt that there could even be a couple more examples using similar descriptive elements. Other suggestions include: using different word choices when there is repetition of a word several times and also to consider taking out some of the questions that I ask. A suggestion was that maybe I was over-questioning the reader, and that I didn’t want to be over-engaging.

Question –

When I told you that I was a little nervous that I would not have enough to revise, do you think there will be enough revisions with the suggestions above? (I am most worried about this because you had said that this was going to be a large part of our grade.) My paper is a little bit more than 6 pages right now (with the artifacts incorporated into the paper). Is this okay or do you think I should consider shortening?