In my paper it was pointed out to me that I am slightly redundant with some points. I will revise these sentences or take them out. I am considering adding some direct quotes from Dewey and Freire and possibly devoting a whole paragraph to just analyzing how their concepts are emulated by my mom's teaching style. Also, I will expand on what I have already included and add the page numbers and quotes from each text. I need to make a works cited also. I do plan to include my last artifact, a work sheet of basic math problems, that I am being mailed. I realized I did not state that my mom was a teacher of 4th grade until the last pages of my paper and I will work that in sooner. I am considering putting my narratives in italics but am not sure because I feel they fit into the flow of the paper without being pointed out. In addition to the possible italics, I feel that I need to add more sensory detail to my paper. I will revisit my transitions between my paragraphs because I am not happy with a few of them. I have one confusing sentence that I will look back over and see if I can make my point more clear. Lastly, I will look over my paper again and see if I cannot draw out my over arching claim more than it is now.
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