For my revisions, I plan to rework my topic sentence and include my main claim since it seems that I had claims throughout my paper but no concise statement made in the beginning. Going through narrative I think that I need to work on making my thoughts more descriptive and need to include some similes and metaphors if possible. The content of my paper is a good starting point, but I could benefit from expanding and reorganizing within each paragraph to make my thoughts more clear and relatable to the educational theories that I have chosen to use. One of my comments said that I should introduce the theories of education at the beginning of the paragraphs and then expand on how these relate to my experience, so I will look into changing this around. My concluding statements will need to be reworded and changed. Right now, it reads as a run-on and has too many ideas jammed into one sentence. Also, after looking at my comments For more basic improvements, I hope to either create an appendix for my artifacts or more place them within the writing where they are discussed so it can be referred to more easily. I also need to add my works cited page.
Do I need to include my specific artifact analysis like our previous assignment or is what I have sufficient?
No comments:
Post a Comment