For revisions, I think I need to expand on my claim, while writing the paper, my initial intent was just to get all of my ideas out there and see what I had and hope that got me somewhere productive. It did, but my claim is a little bit lacking. Also, I plan on refining my word choice. I found a paragraph in which I use the word "Spanish" five times - it gets a little repetitive. As a technical issue, I need to fix my citation style. I used the punctuation around my in text citations incorrectly. I need to insert a section regarding informal education and Dewey. I mention my foreign language education first occurring at home in a social environment, and this is precisely what Dewey means when he describes informal education. My paragraph regarding my poem analysis essay and Cronon's theories is extremely disjointed. It seems like more of a list right now without proper spacing. I need to insert proper transitions and connector sentences. Finally, my paper currently contains no conclusion. I need to first strengthen my claim before I can restate it in my conclusion. I have the first two sentences written and they seem like a good start to something of a pre-conclusion, but I am not quite sure how to go about concluding this paper, as I have spoken on such a variety of topics. Although they are all related, it seems like a lot to tie together.
I suppose, my question is then, how would I go a bout concluding this paper effectively once I have a proper claim?
Is there a way to do justice to each section of the paper without rewriting everything I had previously elaborated on?
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