For my revisions, I need to dig deeper into my artifacts and what they taught me. I will be looking for themes on empathy and communication. To start, I will reread my favorite scenes in Harry Potter and Frog and Toad. Then, I will reread Cronon and Dewey looking for evidence to support my artifacts (so I can actually use Dewey as a source). After I look for evidence and support, I can tie my experience in the hospital to empathy and communication themes. I can also talk about empowerment I experienced when I finished reading the first Frog and Toad book. To add more to my narratives, I will elaborate on how the title of Frog and Toad was inspiring by explaining how that is the first thing they had me read. I need to add more detail to the narrative about telling my mom about finishing Frog and Toad. I should add that I was excited that I actually knew what was going on so I had to tell her all about it. These two could be examples of empowerment. I need to work on my transitions between paragraphs (tie the previous paragraph to the current one). I hope, that after all of this, I can finalize my claim. Right now, I think my claim is how informal education teaches just as well and that this learning connects to the community and life.
Question: Is my claim solid enough? Its not the final version but can I add to it?
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