I haven't had the chance to write most of my paper yet so there is a lot I need to add/revise. First off I plan to expand upon my narrative, mainly making it more descriptive. I will probably end up adding another narrative as well. I also want to make my claim clearer. The claim might be that neither the banking system nor the problem posing system are the best method of education, but rather a mix of both and that through education, humans gain freedom. When I talk about the project I want to add how it impacted me personally and talk in more detail about the process I went through. I want to incorporate the quotes that I pulled out of Cronon's article and talk about how education frees people. I want to relate that to my own experience, which will support his idea. I might tie in another artifact as well. My mom sent me some old school projects that I should be able to include somewhere.
I have also thought about comparing an artifact from my more recent schooling and comparing the style of education that is used. I'm not sure if I will actually end up doing this yet though.
Do you think the quotes I pulled out would be effective in supporting my claim?
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